The Scumbag world.

• Two scumbag sluts walk into Brown Thomas they stroll upto the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Tracey sprays it on her wrist and smells it: 'Dat's fukin nice innit, don't you tink Jacinta?'....'Yeah,what's it bleedin called?'. 'Viens a moi' 'VIENS A MOI, what the fuk does that mean? At this stage the assistant offers some help. 'Viens a moi, ladies, is French for "come to me". Sharon, takes another sniff and offers her arm to Jacinta again saying, "That doesn't smell like cum to me, does that smell like cum to you?"...........

• What's the most confusing day of the year for a Scumbag? Fathers Day!

• How do you start an argument with a Scumbag? Speak!

• What do you call a Scumbag in a tastfully decorated house? The burglar!

• Why are Scumbags like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

• What do you call a female Scumbag in a white tracksuit? The bride.

• What do you say to a Scumbag at work? Can I have a big mac please?

• How do you identify the bride at a Scumbag wedding? She is the most pregnant one.

• What do Scumbags use as protection during sex? A bus shelter!